The SORD..... the beginning of it all.
Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff-tier is an unofficial title used to universally tag any and all objects that look as if they are from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, or in other words, look really shitty and often times yield the opposite result of what is desired, such as weapons actually making your attack power lower than what it would be even without a weapon.
How to Make
The most common way to make a SBaHJ-tier item is simply by alchemizing the Picture of Hella Jeff with whatever object you wish to SBaHJ-ify. However, this is not always the case; some SBaHJ-tier items could be alchemized even further into newer, slightly-less-shitty upgrades. Such as alchemizing the SORD..... with the Steel Bar to create the STELE SORD.....
Known SBaHJ-Tier Items
Picture of Hella Jeff [Base]
Look at this smug bastard. It's almost as if he knows how much you'll regret alchemizing him.
- Description: It's a picture of one of the characters from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. You would do well to heed his warnings regarding stairs.
- Note: This item may or may not count as an actual SBaHJ-tier item, as it's just a regular picture of the character and doesn't have any reality-bending aspects of JPEG artifacts in real life, odd physics, etc. It's sorta like a door to a toy shop. A shitty toy shop.
- Code: WN6?TpMT
- Grist Required: Can be captchalogued from the item catalogue for free or Alchemized for -1 Artifacts
Kringlefucker
Captchalogued Kringlefucker
- Description: This thing is so unspeakably shitty you are having a hard time getting rid of it. But why would you want to? It's the prettiest christmas tree you've ever seen.
- Code: JPEGMAS!
- Grist Required: -10000 Artifacts
pewn (Chess Set && Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Description: pawns dont DOO that you chumpstick.
- Code: 0M2ALYK1
- Grist Required: -5 Artifacts
UNREAL AIR (Skateboard && Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Description: GOIGN UP.............
- Code: WG4qDIM5
- Grist Required: 0 Build Grist. Bizarrely no negative Artifacts with this one...
Known SBaHJ-Tier Weapons
SORD..... (Shitty Sword && Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Abstratus: bladekind
- Strength: -5
- Assault penalty: -1
Captchalogued STELE SORD.....
- Description: This thing is so unspeakably shitty you are having a hard time even holding it.
- Code: 0I0Y5nML
- Grist Required: -1 Artifacts
STELE SORD..... (SORD..... || Steel Bar)
- Abstratus: bladekind
- Strength: 58
- Aggrieve penalty: -25
- Aggress penalty: -27
- Assail penalty: -30
- Assault penalty: -33
- Abuse penalty: -12
- Accuse penalty: -10
- Abjure penalty: -7
- Abstain penalty: -5
- Code: Fw2cDtNL
- Description: A surprisingly decent upgrade to the SORD. Still looks like shit though.
hOPY shIT (Dragon Trench Coat && H.E.V. mark V Suit)
- Abstabus: foodkind, jpegkind
- Strength: -9999
- Size: ginormous
- Description: the SHIT pile doesn't stop form getting TALLEr....
- Code: 01040000
Captchalogued mothrefukrek
mothrefukrek........ (Hatchet || Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Abstrabus: axekind
- Strength: -9999
- Description: Perfect for fucking one's mother, or that of a friend.
- Code: ptE!Vp?T
- Grist Required: -1000 Artifacts
BROME (Broom && Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Abstrabus: broomkind
- Strength: 10
- Aggrieve penalty: -20
- Aggress penalty: -20
- Assail penalty: -20
- Assault penalty: -20
- Abuse penalty: -20
- Accuse penalty: -20
- Abjure penalty: -20
- Abstain penalty: -20
- Description: Let's be honest here. If you use this, you're only going to make things worse.
- Code: 002ePm4K
- Grist Required: -200 Artifacts
BROOOM...... (Broom || Picture of Hella Jeff)
Captchalogued BROOOM......
- Abstrabus: broomkind
- Strength: -15
- Description: What are you holding. What the HELL ARE YOU HOLDING? YUO HVAVE THE POWER BROENHEIM....
- Code: bt7?TpsT
- Grist required: -36 Artifacts
i HAVE the card (Blackjack Deck && Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Abstrabus: cardkind
- Strength: -5000
- Description: the sock ruse was.... A DISTACTION
- Code: W76sHJM5
hellzamonzensy cuin (Nickle || Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Abstrabus: coinkind
- Strength: -4
- Abstain bonus: 8
- Abjure penalty: -6
- Description: A weird coin with the imprint of Hella Jeff on it.
- Code: i!U!T!sT
- Grist Required: -5 Artifacts
KRAMPISS (Kringlefucker && Fancy Santa)
Captchalogued KRAMPISS
- Abstrabus: fancysantakind
- Strength: -9999
- Description: Just when you thought it couldn't get any more festive/terrible, you've devised a fanciful santa that clips through walls and pretty much any immediate surface. It also smells like weed.
- Code: HOAGG88o
- Grist Required: -12252012 Artifacts
HAmorr (Claw Hammer && Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Abstrabus: hammerkind
- Strength: 30
- Aggrieve penalty: -12
- Aggress penalty: -14
- Assail penalty: -16
- Assault penalty: -18
- Abuse penalty: -18
- Accuse penalty: -16
- Abjure penalty: -14
- Abstain penalty: -12
- Description: A Sbahjified cartoon mallet that seems to hit where ever you aren't actuall aiming it. It tends to have a defective attraction to banging your best bro's mom.
- Code: W36UH22G
- Grist Required: -36 Artifacts
gUITARD.......... (Electric Guitar || Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Abstrabus: instrumentkind
- Strength: -3
- Aggrieve bonus: 3
- Description: A lopsided green guitar. No matter what you do it seems to always be hideously out of tune. WOAWW BWEE!
VUVUVZUELVA (Clarinet && Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Abstrabus: instrumentkind
- Strength: -10
- Aggrieve bonus: 20
- Description: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
- Code: 0L6y1mIK
DEUDLY FIREARMS...... (Hard-Boiled Revolver && Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Abstrabus: pistolkind
- Strength: 1000
- Description: Are you next?
rifl (Rifle && Picture of Hella Jeff)
Captchalogued rifl
- Abstrabus: riflekind
- Strength: -100
- Assault bonus: 1
- Abuse bonus: 1
- Abstain bonus: 1
- Aggrieve penalty: -100
- Aggress penalty: -100
- Assail penalty: -200
- Accuse penalty: -100
- Abjure penalty: -100
- Description: This thing is so shitty you're surprised it can even fire... but when it does, it floats away due to knockback and weight physics throwing in the towel.
SBAHA CROSHAR'S (Ahab's Crosshairs && Picture of Hella Jeff)
Captchalogued SBAHA CROSHAR'S
*Abstrabus: riflekind
- Strength: -9999
- Aggrieve penalty: -9999
- Aggress penalty: -9999
- Assail penalty: -9999
- Assault penalty: -9999
- Abuse penalty: -9999
- Accuse penalty: -9999
- Abjure penalty: -9999
- Abstain penalty: -9999
- Description: The most legendary, most piece of shitty legendary piece of shit ever.
- Code: 076ED300
LAZOR (Laser Pointer && Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Abstrabus: Sciencekind
- Strength: -234
- Assault penalty: -8444
- Description: The "lazors" this thing emits travel at around walking speed, and tend to bend off at weird angles after a few meters. You are fairly certain light isn't supposed to work this way.
...SYTH (Replica Reaper Scythe && Picture of Hella Jeff)
Captchalogued ...SYTH
- Abstrabus: scythekind
- Strength: 250
- Aggrieve penalty: -500
- Aggress penalty: -500
- Assail penalty: -500
- Assault penalty: -500
- Abuse penalty: -500
- Accuse penalty: -500
- Abjure penalty: -500
- Abstain penalty: -500
- Description: The unhallowed weapon of the JPEG REPAER
BLUINDERBUS..... (Shotgun && Picture of Hella Jeff)
Captchalogued BLUINDERBUS.....
- Abstrabus: shotgunkind
- Strength: -888
- Aggrieve penalty: -88
- Aggress penalty: -88
- Assail penalty: -88
- Assault penalty: -88
- Abuse penalty: -88
- Accuse penalty: -88
- Abjure penalty: -88
- Abstain penalty: -88
- Description: You aren't actually going to shoot this, right?
DISTACTION (Lonesome Sock || Picture of Hella Jeff)
Captchalogued DISTACTION
- Abstrabus: footwearkind
- Strength: -2395
- Aggrieve bonus: 2394
- Abuse bonus: 2394
- Description: AGAIN with the socks what IS it even with you and the SOCKS MAN
Known SBaHJ-Tier Wearables
hella JEFF shird (T-shirt && Picture of Hella Jeff)
Captchalogued hella JEFF shird
- Location: Bodygear
- Defense bonus: -3
- Description: he warned you about the staris bro. and now he can warn you on your shirt all day........
SUTT (Formal Suit && Picture of Hella Jeff)
- Location: Bodygear
- Defense bonus: -9999
- Description: FOR CLASSEY POPEL ONLY.....
- Code: WH0CKoM5
Known SBaHJ-Tier Consumables
nachons [Base]
- Description: These reduse hit points......
Captchalogued nanchons
- Message: You eat the nachons. just how HIGH do you have to BE to do something like that?
- Effect: Seemingly nothing.
- code: Pw2mALrK
Froot Gushers - XTrEM Nacho Cheese Concussion flavour (nachons || Fruit Gushers - Massive Tropical Brain Hemorrhage flavour)
Captchalogued Froot Gushers - XTrEM Nacho Cheese Concussion flavour
- Description: A pack of fruit gushers consisting solely of yellow-orange colored gushers with a nacho cheese flavoured center. Surprisingly they don't taste half bad, but the packaging is covered in jpeg artifacts for some reason. Plus you're sure the name is slightly misspelled.
- Message: You eat the cheesy candy. Aside from some slight artifacting, they taste great!
- Effect: Restores a moderate amount of health.
- code: Twkm!zt?